Proverbs 28: 13 - Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Everyone has done something they are ashamed of and regret.
- Hit A Car - I was backing up in a parking lot and hit a car. I really thought I just bumped the bumper but I think it was a bit more on the side. I didn't think anything of it, and drove away. I have never done anything like this. I hate it. I feel physically sick. I am afraid someone saw me too.
- Eating Disorder - I know this sounds stupid, but it won't go away. I constantly worry about how I look and am always worried about what I eat. I am constantly consumed with my image and feel ugly. I constantly think about how many calories are in food.
- Abortion - I had an abortion and no one knows about it. I did it to cover up my cheating.
- Pornography - I wait till everyone is asleep, and then I sneak onto the computer. I live in a private world of sexual lust. I have poisoned my mind.
The question is not whether or not we have done something we regret. The question is what are we going to do about our "secret sins." The habits and acts that no one on earth knows about but us.
3 Steps to Breaking Free:
STEP 1 - RADICAL IN OUR ADMISSION
Admit your situation. Take responsibility for your actions. You are not a victim, although the pain may be real. You have put yourself in this situation. Admit your sin. Don't call it a weakness; call it sin. Recognize you have offended God.
STEP 2 - RADICAL IN OUR ACCOUNTABILITY
Everyone wants someone that they can tell everything too. Someone that will listen to them. This is why the number 1 application on Myspace is "The Truth Box." There is great power in bringing sin to the light.
James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. As long as you never tell anyone what is going on inside of you, as long as you live in the shadows, you will go on thinking you are the only who has ever done "something like this." You will find out quickly you are not. ALL of us have blown it big time. But also, as long as you live in the shadows, you will go on thinking that God can't'/won't forgive you. As you see the way God has forgiven and restored others, you will find the hope that he can do the same for you.
You need accountability. Someone that you meet with regularly that will ask you tough questions. Someone that will pray with/for you. Someone you can share everything with.
5 Questions of Accountability
- How is your relationship with God? Are you spending time with Him daily?
- What temptations/struggles are you dealing with?
- Have you given priority time to your family?
- Have you watched or done anything impure or dishonest?
- Have you just lied to me?
Matthew 5:29 - If your right eye cause you to sin, tear it our and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than
that your whole body be thrown into hell.
In an extreme hyperbole (obviously he isn't talking about your literal eye!), Jesus illustrates that there are things we may need to give up that we used to prize and treasure. The amputation must be radical - nothing can be spared. It is the step that shows how serious we are about change. Are we just tired of the consequences of our actions and feeling guilty? Or do we truly desire change for the glory of God?
Why do we need to get rid of it? Because if we don't, we will go back to it. We must attack habits and sins in our lives with the intensity of Cortez. When Cortez sent his men into battle, he burned the ships. Those men knew there was no going back. They had to win the battle. It is the same way in our lives. We must win the battles that threaten to keep us from reaching our potential.
Obviously, there will be somethings that we will want to keep, that we think we can't live without. Again, the amputation is radical. God calls us to live lives of self-denial and self-discipline, not self-indulgence.
3 comments:
Thanks for your call to radical obedience. When we look up "radical" in the dictionary, we see that it has another meaning: relating to or coming from the root. In many ways, when we are calling people to "radical" accountability or amputation, we're really just calling them to the kind of obedience that was originally intended in the first place.
Accountability is so important for overcoming sin. I love you list of questions here. I've compiled a series of lists for accountability partners at: http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/05/19/character-building-accountability-questions/
Have you ever heard of accountability software (for those who have their secret sins on the Internet)? I work for a ministry called Covenant Eyes that helps people find accountability for their Internet use. Our software is being used by tens of thousands all over the world. If you would like some more information or if you would like me to send you some free brochures, let me know.
Jason,
You're right on. I'm a living testimony of what you have described, but have come to know the freedom that is only found in Christ. Not that I was not saved already, but free from bondage.
I know what James speaks of when he calls believer's to confess so that healing will occur.
Satan surely wants to keep people silent to keep them in bondage. It's a bit ironic because the one in sin believes life is better when their sin is kept silent, but little do they realize they are forcing themselves to remain in the dark.
We have to accept responsibility of our sin. That's what God demands we do (confess). Then we must repent, and this requires building hedges to protect ourselves from falling into these pits. You mention accountability and the other brother specifically spoke about software tools. If we are serious about our obedience to God, we will become vulnerable and radical in our Christian walk (submission).
In closing, NT scholar Andreas Kostenberger writes concerning John 15:9-10, "Though it cannot be explored in detail here, the implications for a biblical theology of sanctification are significant. Instead of focusing on self-effort in avoiding negative behavior (such as resisting sin), the believer ought to concentrate positively on nurturing his or her spiritual communion with Christ."
Resisting sin is not enough, we must confess, repent, and abide in Christ.
Great thoughts guys! Luke, I have heard of and at one time used covenant eyes software. It is a great program and I use you guys all the time in counseling, when I am forced to deal with this unpleasant circumstance of internet pornography. If I can ever do anything with or for you guys, let me know.
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